You can't have the rainbow without having the rain.....

I had to keep reminding myself these past couple of weeks that "you can't have rainbows without having the rain." I've finally finished my Rainbow shawl and I love it!!! It serves as a visual reminder so that when times get tough, or my body decides to mutiny against me I can wrap myself in color and know that everything will be all right.

I learned a lot during this knitting project. I'm normally more concerned with getting something done or starting something else. I can get pretty distracted and certainly my MS flare-up doesn't help with staying on task. Not to mention while I was knitting the Adara rainbow shawl project this came out so I promptly got the pattern and then went to my LYS with my Christmas gift certificate in hand to get the yarn. Then in the midst of my future knitting planning this came out. All I can say is WOW!!!! I purchased the kit from Kim (who is so very talented and quite nice) and when the yarn arrived I almost cartwheeled through my house (my current lack of intense mobility hindered the ability to cartwheel physically, but mentally I was cartwheeling around the block!). The yarn is so beautiful and both projects are amazing. Needless to say I'm quite obsessed with both the shawl and the scarf especially since there are lots and lots of beads incorporated into the pattern!!! I love beads almost as much as I love yarn so both of these projects have me in a knitting frenzy.

It clearly would have been easy to get distracted but I just kept on knitting my rainbow shawl one stitch at a time. I kept telling myself that as soon as I finished this shawl I could start on one of Susan's projects. She is such an amazing designer and the projects she has "in the works" just blow my mind. I love the fact that not only are her patterns gorgeous but she is also super nice and very active in the forums on Ravelry. It is so nice to like the patterns and the person!

So in the midst of this Rainbow shawl I definitely hit a rough patch of stormy weather and I think it is a small miracle that I didn't abandon the rainbow shawl when I came home from the hospital. The vibrant colors of this shawl really called to me and I was itching to get back to it while I was sick. Even though my knitting was a bit slower it still only needed one stitch at a time. So slowly but surely I continued the project. I'm also thankful that my physical and occupational therapists both thought knitting was a good idea and I've already had my knitting speed back up to its normal pace.

I just had to keep reminding myself that you can't have the rainbow without the rain so even though I hit a rough patch the sky has begun to clear I can enjoy the rainbow in front of me. Now the only dilemma is which project to start next!!

"I'm a leaf on the wind....watch how I soar - Wash (Firefly)"

It amazes me how fast things can change. The past few weeks have taught me some valuable lessons about life, knitting, and....... well....... life with knitting. I returned home this Saturday after a 5 day stint in the hospital and a 4 day excursion at a acute physical therapy rehab facility. Nine days, 216 hours, 12960 minutes, the longest of my life. You see when MS teams up with fibromyalgia some interesting things can happen.

I experienced an "exacerbation" and boy did it knock me off my feet. I'm slowly working on my stamina and I'm getting better a little each day but it was a humbling experience. I'm using a walker now which drives me crazy but I'm thankful for the ability to walk again. I'm thankful for being able to feel my legs even if they are numb sometimes. I'm overjoyed that my left hand has gotten back with the program even though the right one is still on an extended vacation but sends postcards ever so often.

I learned knitting can help through just about anything, even if it only involves garter stitch on size 50 jumbo needles. I learned that even if you think that the jumbo garter stitch troll scarf you are knitting doesn't exactly showcase you capabilities non-knitters will be impressed by your ability to turn yarn into something pretty. On one of the days at the rehab center one of the discharge nurses stopped by for me to sign some paperwork, she was very soft spoken until she saw the knitting on the couch next to me and then she exclaimed "OOOOOOO KNITTING!!!" If I hadn't already been laying down I think I would have been knocked over as she circled the bed to see the yarn.

I learned that my friends and family are pretty awesome and for the most part are a lot better in a crisis than I am. I learned that while my cognitive ability may wax and wane depending on the MS I have a random knack for remembering quotes from the show Firefly and subsequent movie Serenity. One of my favorite quotes is "I aim to misbehave" and that is exactly how I felt during the last few days of physical therapy. I've never felt quite like a caged animal until I was at the rehab center. I think its because I was feeling better and was more aware of my surroundings and all I wanted to do was to go home.

One of the wonky things about MS is cognitive dysfunction and for me that normally involves confusion and disorientation. I won't necessarily understand where I'm at or how I got there sometimes it can be quite frightening and other times its just a tad annoying. During the initial stay at the fabulous UCSD medical center (they were AMAZING!) I was confused a lot of the time which was a combination of the pain I was under and the MS playing with my two remaining brain cells. Luckily through it all I've managed to maintain my sense of sarcasm, I like to think of it as a major coping mechanism.

I am so overjoyed to be home, to walk, to use my hands, to be with my pets, to knit on something other than garter stitch (Adara's making slow progress but progress none the less). It so cheesy but there really is no place like home.

One of the most important lessons I've learned and continue to learn is energy conservation. Things may take me a bit longer than they used to but it doesn't mean I have to stop doing what I want to do. I just have to do it different and that's OK.